15 Bands That Only Douchebags Listen To (Part1)

Bands that just missed the list are Beck and Radiohead. Being confused over what music to like doesn’t necessarily make you a douchebag just challenged. So what makes the list? Bands that have a following of dudes that insist this is the best band and will pump their fists when their music comes on, regardless of the venue. Also, if this band attracts a douchebag element to their shows, that helps a lot.

Now, another exception is Pearl Jam, a band that at one point was too popular, hence, the high douchebag ratio. Funny how their popularity decreased as did their douchebag following.

So the burning question is what is it about these bands that make those known as D-bags love them? Well, for one most of these bands live by the mantra of drugs, sex and rock and roll, this essentially translates to “F the world.” So there’s that, but that doesn’t necessarily make it okay. You be the judge. Here are the 15 bands that pretty much only douchebags listen to.

15. Guns N’ Roses

As soon as “Sweet Child O’ Mine” hit the airwaves, it was over. Douchebags swarmed to this band faster than looters hit the electronics store. Now it’s important to note that most only stand by the album Appetite For Destruction and the song “Used To Love Her” off the Lies EP. It’s important because this group loves a good rage and the debut album is one of the greatest rage rock albums of all time.
D-bags believe Axl Rose is Jesus Christ and the fans (douchebags) wear bandanas just like their Christ does. This was dying breed until the original band (or at least three main members) decided to get back together for a reunion. Now, it’s an all bandanas off rage once again. Don’t even try and convince them otherwise, you will be muted with chants of “Guns N’ F’n Roses!” Want to have some fun? Bring up Chinese Democracy, of course, I would advise ducking right after you bring this up.

14. Journey

Journey, being a band for douchebags, was never their intention. No, this was a classic seventies band that had a lot of good tunes that rallied the classic radio dial whenever played. So many hits, even with a new lead singer, they flourished on their own. Then the finale of The Sopranos happened.
“Don’t Stop Believin'” was, a good song. Now, it’s the anthem for a state of douchebags that will stop at nothing when they hear “Just a small town girl…” over the speakers. These guys could be at a cemetery where a passing car goes by with the window down playing Journey and they will pump their fists and sing along. “Good song man!”

13. Blink 182

When someone over the age of sixteen says they are a fan of the band, Blink-182 they are telling you they are a douchebag. Technically categorized as “pop punk” like bands like Green Day, they are nothing alike. Just because you cast an adult film star in a video does not make you cool. Their lyrics are so immature and ridiculous only a person with mental capacity of a fifth grader can enjoy their music.
Instead of Green Day, they should be compared to a boy band and their fans, well, enough said. I mean this is a band that whines through their songs and then tries to get emotional after talking about poop. The music is generic and their sense of humor falls flat, which makes sense given the sense of humor of their fans. The song “What’s My Age Again?” is very appropriate and should also be asked of their D-bag fans.

12. Creed

Where to start… I think the overuse of leather pants is a good place. Not only is this band terrible to look at, but their fans are just as bad. Creed is a band made for douchebags that want to believe they are listening to a good band, but aren’t. The lead singer Scott Stapp acts if he’s Jesus Christ in his videos. Specifically the video for “Higher” where is actually floats… I mean c’mon!
At one point this was supposedly a Christian-influenced band, but then later Stapp did a cameo in an adult movie. Make up your mind, oh that’s right, you don’t have to because your fans (douchebags) will support you regardless.

11. The Offspring

Is there such a thing as surf-douchebag rock? Because I believe that The Offspring is much more surf douchebag rock than pop-punk rock, as they have been labeled. When I was younger, I went to one of their concerts and it was a good time. Recently, I listened to their music and although I was okay with some of the tunes; although, I definitely didn’t have same feeling, there was little nostalgia you would hope from a band you used to enjoy. The humor is dated and the music blends together.

Douchebags with grey in their hair that still dig this band have issues. It’s time to put down the surf board and take a step into real life. “I know man, it’s hard, but you’ve got to man!” The recent legalization of marijuana in California could produce a double album from this band, just to please their older douchebag following.