Top 15 Bands That Only Douchebags Listen To (Part 2)

10. Avenged Sevenfold

For a band that wants to be a heavy metal band, it’s not good when you are known as an emo fan to a group of douchebags who relate to you as their sensitive side. The problem is that their fans are obviously trying to find something new, when this band is anything but new, they are the douchebags of rock, a wannabe Metallica that sounds anything like this band.

The biggest issue with this band and their douchebag fans is that they all swear this is a hardcore band when the reality is they are closer to Poison than they are Five Finger Death Punch. There is nothing worse than a band that tries to be something they are not. I mean, the singer even tries to sound like James Hetfield from Metallica and fails. The good news is that the fans (D-bags need I remind you) don’t care, they are used to failure.

9. Linkin Park

Rap/rock fans swear by this album despite only 1.5 good albums, and yes, that’s the problem here. Linkin Park definitely broke pop ground with their industrial rap/rock and ability to break it down into the ballad “In the End.” I don’t debate this. So, hands down you can call me a douchebag for liking the first album; it’s awesome, but the subsequent releases have been anything but, at least for me. I guess that makes me partial douchebag (more on this later, I promise).
The biggest issue with this band and their douchebag following is their insistence on how Linkin Park changed the landscape of music. This is simply not true. Maybe for a couple of years, but their influence and success faded quickly. Remember that the lead singer decided to front a Scott Weiland-less Stone Temple Pilots… yes, that happened people.

8. Bon Jovi

Oh, Jersey, how you are full of douchebags. Bon Jovi, and most importantly Jon Bon Jovi, started off as a hair band that new showing off their beautiful hair and asses was their best assets to go along with their pop rock. Stone-washed jeans and jean jackets manufacturers should pay a royalty to Jon. Then they named their fourth album New Jersey and all hell broke loose. The problem is that the band actually grew musically and consciously; however, their fan base only grew.

Today, Bon Jovi still plays as well as acts as a voice for the small guy. Most of their fans are douchebags that think the song “Living On A Prayer” was made specifically for them and that they have the right to always sing this song at the top of their lungs whenever played. You are not Tommy and you did not work on the docks. You are just a douchebag, son…

7. AC/DC

This Aussie band is loved by douchebags across the world. Now, a little bit of history. This band has switched lead singers, twice. First they went from Bon Scott to Brian Johnson and recently have hired Axl Rose (Guns N’ Roses) to front their band. Did you know that every song in the AC/DC catalog has the word “rock” in it? Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating slightly, but it’s not surprising their fans will answer “rocking dude” when you ask them about their plans for the day, an evening or their lives.
What does a typical AC/DC douchebag look like? They look a lot like the members of the band, lot of receding hair that isn’t cut in the back, paper boy hats and a constant head banging stance. It’s impossible to even have a conversation with these D-bag fan boys without being interrupted with someone shouting “For those about to rock we salute you!” They are hardcore and obnoxious to the core.

6. Disturbed

Once I was in Tampa Bay and yes, I was at a gentleman’s club because Tampa… Anyway, the girl on stage “danced” to the song “Down with the Sickness” by Disturbed. It was so disturbing (pun intended) and to this day am still troubled by that scene. Not sure what that has to do with current topic, but thought it was important to share.

I don’t want to say Disturbed fans are a special group, but there’s a lot of rage and hate and “douchebaggery” that goes along with this. Fans (aka douchebags) insist this is one of the best modern bands in the metal scene today. Fact: This is not the case; this band is closer to the bottom than the top. Regardless, the girls love to strip to Disturbed and the guys love to beat the hell out of people whenever they hear a song by the band, regardless of the venue.